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BLT3K Episode One - Lita's Adventure
(Seven doors open. The camera zooms in through them.) The Fanfic Begins to Play. . .
Well this is my first time writing any thing that is going to be seen outside of my family and friends,
Danny: He lets his mom read his filthy cartoon porno?
Crow: Friends don't let friends write bad lemons.
so let me say something first:
All Characters in this story are not mine, and they are owned by someone else who I don't know.
Danny: It's probably Ernest. When I can't think of a name, its usually Ernest.
Crow: Isn't he dead?
Servo: Probably. Who cares? I like Vern better anyway.
Next and lastly, this is going to be hentai, and it might offend people, so if you don't like hentai, or are under 18(oh yeah like this is going to stop you, heck, I'm 17, and I wrote it) turn back now!
Danny: All right, I'm off!
Servo: Sorry, you've got to.
Crow: I'll make you popcorn. . .
Danny: All right, I'm back.
Written by Sofia The Cat Grrl.
Danny: She can't even spell her own NAME right?
Crow: Gentlemen. . . we be screwed. . .
Now on with the story!
************************************************************
Servo: What constellation is that, Danny?
Danny: I know that one! That's "Badfic".
Lita's Adventure part 1:
Danny: More than ooooone??
It was like any other day, Lita and her friends went to school, fought a monster or two, and still had time for homework.
Crow: They even had time for kinky sex before bed.
(well everyone except Serena, but that's a whole nother story),
Danny: One which we'll probably read all too soon. . .
but after it got dark that night, Lita was awoken by a noise in her apartment."Who's there?" she said as she flicked on the light switch in her bed room.
Danny: Goons!! Hired goons!
Crow: Avon calling!
Servo: The ghost of Christmas Paaaast.
No answer, she got up and opened the crack of her bedroom door, after forgetting that she slept in the nude,
Danny: Because that's such an easy thing to forget.
Crow: I thought that she slept in her bedroom.
and peered into the rest of her apartment. It was Serena, raiding the fridge,
Danny: But, she was in for a surprise. . . The fridge had spears of its own!!
Crow: What?
Danny: Raid. . . Like a village. . . Nevermind.
Lita had forgotten that she was sleeping over.
Danny: Because that sort of thing's easy to forget too, you know.
Crow: I sometimes forget I even HAVE friends.
"Serena! It's on o'clock, how can you think of food?"
Danny: Because I'm a disgusting oaf, silly!
"Oh Lita! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you, I was just sooooo
Danny and Servo: Naked.
Crow: (a second later) Naked. . . Damn.
hungry" "It's ok Serena, you just scared me that's all, in fact I'm a little hungry myself."
Danny: Hungry for looove. . .
"Oh then I've found just the thing!" Serena said as she ducked back into the fridge grabbing something from the back.
Crow: Grabbing something from the back?
Servo: And the fun begins already. . .
"Tada!" she rang
Danny: Serena's a bell now?
Servo: She's the Badfic Alert System. (BAS).
as she pulled out a beautifully made apple pie." "Serena, we can't have that,
Crow: We aren't men.
Servo and Danny: What??
Crow: What? You never saw "American Pie"?
it's for the bake sale for school." The light in Serena's expression dimmed as she heard this.
Danny: Time to replace her bulb.
Servo: I don't think that'll do much good. . .
"Oh, Lita, by the way, where are your cloths?"
Danny: It's finally dawning on her?
Servo: Casual. . . So very casual. . . Almost Bond-like. . .
"Serena, what are you talkiaaaacccchhhh!"
Crow: -tung, mein heir.
Lita ran back into her room red all over.
Danny: Did we miss the Jello scene already?
A few moments pasted,
Servo: Must be arts and crafts day.
Crow: Who brought the popsicle sticks?
and serena started to wonder what was taking Lita so long to get dressed, and come back out.
Danny: Ten hours later. . .
So she went over to Lita's door, and knocked, no answer. She knocked again, still no answer.
Crow: Then, I'll huff and I'll puf and I'll blow your house down!
Danny: Maybe she started without Serena?
Serena opened the door alittle, then alot, and soon was standing in the room.
Danny: At least the author put it in the right order.
She walked over to Lita's bed and sat next to her ashamed friend and put her arm around her, look Lita, it's no big dea, in fact you looked kind of nice, I mean, pretty, I mean, oh I don't know what I mean"
Crow: Oh, I know! I mean that I want to have steamy, lesbian se. . .
Servo: That's as far as you're going with that one.
Lita looked up at her friend, as she started to feel strange, she started to feel aroused by her friedn, it was bad, but it was sooo good at the same time.
Danny: Kinda like putting Icy-Hot on your nipple.
Servo: Christian School Girls in Trouble! Next on Puuba. . .
Lita was going to take a big chance, but she reached up and kissed Serena right on the lips, as her hand went back and
Danny: Cracked Serena's neck!
Servo: Smacked her in the face.
Crow: Gently stroked her. . .
Danny: Crow!
pushed Serena's face toward hers.
Danny: Unfortunately, she missed, causing them to head-butt instead and taking Serena quickly to the ER.
Crow: I love that show.
At first Serena was shocked, and confused, but long nights of wondering, and questioning what it would be like would soon change her mind,
Crow: Into mud.
as Lita soon found out as soon as Serena's tongue entered her mouth.
Danny: And shot out the back of her neck.
Servo: That's creepy, man.
Danny: I got it from Species.
Lita moaned as she and her friend kissed for what seemed like forever.
Danny: The Never Ending Story gone horribly wrong.
Crow: The two were found dead, in the same position several weeks later.
Finally it stopped, and Serena said
Crow: I have a secret, Lita.
Danny: I'm really a man?
Crow: No. I'm really a. . . Damn it!!
"I had no idea, I thought you of all people would be the last per"
Crow: vert I'd have sex with. . .
Her words were stopped short as Lita Held up her finger to her lips. "Sssssssshhh"
Danny: Oh crap! Lita sprung a leak!!
Servo: They just don't make Sailor Scouts like they used to. . .
she said softly as she stood up and removed what little she had put on, again showing off her lovely feminine body to her best friend, soon to be lover, Serena. Serena's body started to fill with excitement as she say Lita's beautiful body before her. "Oh Lita, your hot!"
Danny: I know. . .
Servo: She SAID Lita.
Danny: Shut up. Let me have my dreams.
Lita blushed a little as she said this. Lita reached over and quick grabbed Serena's shirt, pulling it over her head, her little balls
Crow: Oh, God! She's a hermaphrodite in this fic?
Servo: I'm leaving.
of hair bouncing around as the shirt was removed.
All: Phew. . .
"Oh Serena, your not that bad looking yourself." Lita said as she started to remove Serena's bra. Serena smiled as her hand started to make it's way down to Lita's dripping wet
Danny: (covers Crow's eyes) Puddle.
Servo: She spilled a coke earlier.
Crow: What? Come on, guy. . . Lemme see. . .
Lita feeling this said "Oh, no, not yet, first it's your turn, then it's mine" Serena's bra came off, and Lita satrted to
Crow: Turn into a toad.
Servo: Laugh at the size of Serena's breasts.
rub her nipples to life. Serena moaned in delight. Lita smiled and took her hands off of Serena's nipples. "Serena, hold on, I'll be right back" "Okay" Lita stood up and walked out of her room, and into the rest of the apartment.
Danny: ALL of the rest of the appartment?
Crow: Did she just get real fat real fast?
A couple of moments passed and she returned with a little bag, and a glass of ice water.
Crow: No, no, no, Lita, you've got it all wrong. That gag only works with WARM water.
Servo: Don't they have to be asleep for that?
Danny: No, I think it works if you're horny too. . .
Lita put the bag on the bed, and the ice water on the table next to the bed. Lita laughed to herself as she grabbed one of the ice cubes, and started to rub Serena's nipples with.
Danny: it.
Serena moaned as the cold ice rubbed against her burning nipples.
Danny: Its on FIIIIRE!!!
Crow: Guacamole!!!!
Lita was only stirred on by this sound,
Servo: No. No. Shaken, not stirred.
And with her other hand, she slowly rubbed another ice cube down along Serena's stomach, down along to her wet dripping
Danny: Pillow. She always drools during her sleep.
Crow: That's not what it said. . . She's not asleep. . .
Servo: She IS now.
With one quick thrust, Lita pushed three whole fingers deep into Serena's waiting cunt,
Danny: What does that Shiatsu point do?
Servo: The Boyscout Sign gone horribly wrong.
Crow: Maaax! Nooo!
Serena moaned loudly, and Lita pulled her fingers out. "Lick them, taste yourself." Serena happy did as she was told, "Umm, I taste
Crow: Like chicken.
good." Lita quick followed and tasted Serena as well. Lita quickly rammed her whole fist into Serena's aching slit.
Crow: Lita's using Serena as a boxing glove.
All: Eeeeeww. . .
############################################################
Crow: This story's really putting on the pounds.
Danny: Ugh.
MEANWHILE on the streets below, "Ah, I love it this time of night, it's sooo quiet." Alan said as he walked by the appartment building were Lita, and Serena were staying. "What's this?"
Servo: It's called an appartment building. You know, it's where people live in small rooms that substitue for houses, but that's not important now.
Alan thought to himself, "so much sexual energy. I must have it" Alan floated up, and up, and up, until he was outside Lita's window. "What's this?
Crow: It's a window, you know, you use it to spy on the "adventures" of various Sailor Scouts, but that's not important either.
Serena and Lita, my, tonight is a lucky night." "Now, how to get that energy, humm,
Servo: Let's see here, he's flying and humming. He's a hummingbird!
ah, I know, I'll become one of those Inju monsters, hehehe,, they live for sex, this should be easy
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Crow: This story's got more numbers than a phone book.
Danny: . . .
"Serena, do you feel something?" Lita asked. "Hun, what?
Servo: She said, "DO YOU FEEL SOMETHING?"
what are you talking about?" "I can feel, something, something evil, Serena. Transform." As Lita said this, she too transformed into Sailor Jupiter. Just after, Serena had finished transforming, Alan, now an Inju monster, busted through the wall. A peace of wall was flung across the room
Danny: and crushed Serena's head. . . killing her.
and hit Serena square in the stoamch, knocking her out cold.
Servo: Wow.
Crow: Score one for Danny.
"Baka Demon," Lita screamed as she charged at Alan,"you will not live to see another day
************************************************************
Crow: Impossible! You can't even have TWO identical snowflakes, let alone sixty!
Danny: That's better.
Well, things are really starting to heat up, well Lita Defeat Alan, and save them both from horrors, untold, or will Alan defeat them both and take there sexual energy, stay tooned
Danny: Like turned into cartoons?
Servo: Don't look at me. I'm already a puppet.
for part two of Lita's Adventure!
Danny: Ok! Intermission!!
Crow: I gotta go to the bathroom.
Servo: Don't sprain your wrist, Crow.
Danny: Ah geeeez!
Well, last time you remember what was going on,
Servo: Even though we wish we didn't.
so on with the story
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Crow: Twinkle, twinkle little star
Danny: Just stop that.
Alan, seeing Lita charge him, quickly swung one of the various tentacles he was now epuipped with,
Danny: Ah geez. . . Here it comes.
Crow: Try our latest enema! Now in. . . SQUID variety.
All: Eeeew. . .
at her and knocked her clear across the room. "All to easy" he said.He walked over to the other body in the room, and saw that it was Serena, and she was out like a light.
Danny: I thought we already changed her.
Servo: Told you it wouldn't help.
"Oh, no, not Serena!"
Crow: Did her not see her before, when he KILLED HER?
Alan screamed. He started to shake her
Danny: And, when he tried to open her up, she spurted out all over him.
Servo: Danny. . .
Danny: LIKE A COKE!!!
trying to wake her, and she let out a little moan. Lita now stagger back to her feet,
Crow: Shouldn't a had all that booze last night.
saw that he was distracted, and she used this to her advantage. "Jupiter Thunder CRASH!"
Danny: She's a car now?
Servo: Probably a lemon.
Danny: Ugh. . .
She screamed as the animated scene we all know and love was played.
Servo: Meanwhile, with all that dancing. . . the monster had gotten away.
Alan, was too quick for her thought, for he teleported, with Serena in hands,
Crow: Good call.
Servo: The writer's turned into Shatner all of a sudden. Look at all those pauses.
Danny: This, fic, really, blows.
right behind her, and smacked her across the face, knocking her out as well. "Well, they're both alive, I'll take them to a more "private" place, hehehehehe"
Danny: Eeew.
Crow: I don't want to see his "private place".
############################################################
All: (singing) Tic tac toe, three in a row!!
Later, Lita wakes up slowly, and begins to look around she knows she is not in her apartment anymore.
Servo: The tentacles wrapped around her were probably the first clue.
Danny: Or the fact that she's underwater.
Her face hurts from getting hit by the monster, and she tried to reach up and rub her face, but finds she is bound by four chains,
Crow: The Last Temptation of Lita.
and her cloths are nowhere to be found,
Crow: Did she forget clothes AGAIN?
but worst of all, she can't see Serena anywhere.
Crow: All right! No more sex scenes!
Servo: Don't count on it, Crow.
Danny: I think we've got plenty of ugliness to come.
"I see you're awake my dear" a voice said as a tentacle brushed her nipple, just lightly touching it.
Crow: Bill Clinton on any given Saturday night!
"Wha, what are you going to do to me?" Lita asked a hint of fear, in her normally strong voice.
Danny: Oh, nothing. Just a bit of plastic surgery.
"Hehehehe, that's for me to know, and you to find out." the voice said as a tentacle rubbed up against her
Servo: Now, that is one perverted tentacle.
Danny: They all are.
Lita's eyes got huge as it touched her outer lips,
Crow: It's inflating her like a balloon!
and she began to swear all types of cusses and curse at Alan.
Danny: Not to be redundant.
"I Swear, if you touch me I"
Servo: Will try to get away even harder?
Danny: Will scream for help as if anyone could hear me?
Crow: Pay you one hundred dollars Tuesday for an Orgasm today.
He words were cut short as a tentacle shot into her mouth. "Little girls like you should respect their masters." Alan said coldly Lita started to cry, as the tentacle pushed further into her throat.
Danny: Uh, you're cutting off her air supply.
Crow: Eh, they're just as good alive as dead. . .
All: Eeew. . .
"Yes, cry for me, hahaha"
Crow: Why? Are squid people turned on by babies?
The evil man laughed as a tentacle began to rub Lita's clit. Lita began to squirm trying to deny the pleasure she was recieving from her torture "Stop your struggling, or else"
Danny: Or else I'll rape you even more!
Lita stopped, and began to really fear for herself and Serena, oh god, Serena!
Crow: Like I said, I forget my friends all the time. . .
Servo: Like I said, we AREN'T your friends!
What happened to Serena? Lita tried to talk, but the tentacle in her mouth stopped her from saying anything. "Much better" The tentacle that was rubbing her clit, slowly entered her wet snatch.
Danny: And was cut off by the hidden razors inside.
Servo: Eek!
"You are like were just like Serena,
Servo: Make up your mind. IS she or WAS she just like Serena?
she fought me, and you fought me, but her body betrayed her, just like yours has betrayed you.
Danny: All it needed was the right amount of money.
Oh that's right your were out cold while I had my way with her." He snapped his fingers
Crow: Wait, I thought that he had tentacles.
Danny: Snapped his tentacles then. The hell should I know?
and a light went on and Lita could see Serena, she was covered in
Danny: Silly string.
"Don't worry, she's still alive, and soon, you will be mine too" Lita hung her head down in shame, the shame that she knew she couldn't help Serena. As she was looking down she could see an tentacle
Servo: You know, elementary grammar skills usually help when writing a story.
Danny: So does a plot.
getting ready to enter her ass, it started to rub her anus, oiling it up first as not to hurt her much.
Danny: What's with the motor oil?
Crow: She's got a rear engine!
Servo: (slaps Crow)
It rammed its way into her as tears of pain streamed down her face, Alan smiled as he bent down, and kissed her tears away from her face.
Danny: Then, he realized: It was all just a clever plot just to get him to rape Lita.
Servo: The genius!!
Blood trickled down from Lita's virgin ass, and started to form a pool, along with her sweat, and the slime the tentacles dripped beneath her. Alan unchained her,
Danny: Eeew. . . Just eew. . .
and wrapped his tentacles around her arms and leg,
Servo: The bastard cut off one of her legs too?
Danny: The bastard!
and pulled her legs apart, fully exposing her wet cunt to the merciless tentacles, two more entered her
Danny: Pocket book.
Servo: They turned out to be nothing but common criminals.
all throbbing and pushing at the same speed and strength. Lita started to cum, and as she came, she bit down on the tentacle in her mouth,
Danny: It's like there's a party in my mouth and this tentacle's invited!
slightly. Her juices spilled down her leg, to join the rest of the liquids beneath her.
Danny: The Hawaiian punch of beastial rape!
Alan smiled a wicked smile. He set her down gently, and said, "Oh my pretty, we're not done yet" He then flipped her over onto her back, and began to hammer her with his tentacles,
Danny: Is he building a bird house out of her?
Servo: But, he forgot the nails. . .
another joined the three already in her
Danny: Pocketbook.
Servo: They still haven't found the money.
and two more joined the one in her ass, again she cried in pain, but soon the pain was replaced with pleasure, the pleasure, oh god, the pleasure.
Danny: Is the author being raped too??
Crow: Hey! Leave god out of this!!
Lita tilted her head back, almost panted, and Alan removed the tentacle from her mouth, and began to rub her tits with it. Lita was clawing at the table,
Crow: Bad Lita! Not a scrathing post!
screaming "Ohh, who ever you are, harder, fuck me harder!" "As you wish" Alan turned up the intensity,
Danny: He has level settings?
Servo: I wish MY squid creature could do that. . .
and began expanding the tentacles inside her as he too got ready to cum. Lita screamed "I'm gonna
Crow: Explooooode!!!
she started to shake, as she came again, and again.
Danny: And without ever leaving once. . .
Alan, twitched as he came too, his tentacles filling her
Servo: Water bottle.
Danny: She'll get a surprise when she takes a sip out of that one hot day.
The rest of his tentacles spewed their loads all over her.
All: (barfing sounds)
Alan, leaded over, and kissed her, "Now your mine." he whispered in her ear.
Danny: And only for the low, low price of five ninety-nine!
************************************************************
Crow:It's the Hollywood Walk of Fame!
Well that's the end I know I skipped a whole part with Serena, but hey, I like Lita better anyway.
Servo: And that's how you show your fanship? By putting her in a god-awful lemon?!
Danny: Thank god I don't have any fans. . .
Crow: I'm your fan. . .
(doors open, all get up and walk out)
Phew. . .
By Danny
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