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The Times they are a DegradingAhh, I remember the good old days when the local arcade here in Virginia used to be a fun place to go to. I could go inside, buy my quarters, then continue to unmercifully pummel my brother into tears at air hockey. When I had gotten wearsome of his crying I would go spend the rest of tokens on Area 51 and that crazy bash-a-gator game (quite possibly the most skill requiring sport ever besides jousting.) But nowadays the old corner arcade has degraded much. First of all they took out all of the really cool old school arcade games like Street fighter and Mortal Kombat. They even took out Area 51 and replaced it with Digital Deer Hunting. I don't know about you, but I find the cruel slaughtering of wild life to be immoral. Whether in real life or on a machine...but the killing of alien infested humans I have no such problem with. Deer swim through the ocean killing sharks and saving sailors. Alien zombies try to throw explosive barrels at me and steal my picanic baskets. Too bad deer always get stuck in our fishing nets and get turned into tuna...IS THERE NO JUSTICE IN THE WORLD!Another change around the arcade has been the crowd that hangs out there. Last year the crowd that would hang out around the arcade was the kind I could tolerate. Easy going mormons who would give me alms when I asked. It was cause I convinced them that I was a leper. (Yeah I know I'm evil but they had tokens and I needed them to beat Shao Khan. The ends justify the means, if not for me your immortal soul would be in the belly of a scary dog face man. So be thankful to me...bitch) Nowadays the crowd is much didfferent. And by different I mean NObody goes there. I stopped by there a few times and it was as empty as a Barnes and Noble's mongolian cook book section. It was fun for the first half an hour, but I missed the talking of all the people and watching them play, and mostly having people to challenge at at air hockey. Those were good times; speaking of which that's how I would like to spend my birthday, just one giant air hockey tournament...eXtreme air hockey with lasers and croquet mallets, but that's a whole nother article. Guess I'll have to start using my own money now, damn traitors. The new managers different too, they're two Arabian guys who keep eying me when I walk in and talk about how I'd fetch a good price on the white slave market. I just kept a good distance away from them when I visited, even declining the free frog jumper* they offered me. The arcade is no fun anymore, and there's only one thing to do with some that's no fun. Time to burn it. ::Writer gets a pack of matches and can of gasoline convinently lying around. Begins to walk out door::
Catfish: Rosco, are you going to commit arson?
*a crazy plastic little frog that lurches foward when you press a tab
on the back. They only cost 2 tickets each. My little brother and I used
to collect them for fun, at one point we had so many we would use them
as a form of currency between us. Heh, I still owe my brother 93 frog
bucks.
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Link Back Links Writer(s) |
 Danny's weekly video game column. Culture, history, gameplay, tech, and dick jokes. Funny, if you're a dorkmo. |
Puuba-Danny