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Biography of a God
Aka - A Little About Danny
Well, I was created on November 8, 1983. My father was a toaster oven and my mother was a man. I guess that makes her my father. I am a half trout, half cyborg, half muffin man. I am one hundred and fifty percent the man you will ever be. I was created by Dr. Heinrich Farfignuginhanglerton to combat the evil forces of the western osterich. His mutton-chops were mighty and large.
After a series of intruiging and hilarious adventures involving a gay puppeteer, a brave and attractive knight, and a friendly yet clumbsy ogre named Rosie, I eventually saved the day and the pig-farm.
Oh yes, Dr. Farfignuginhanglerton F grew pigs from scratch. With a moose. A moose in a poo hat. . .Dr. F never was quite right. Especially when he made me dance for him. Oh god, the dancing. ALWAYS the dancing.
::flashback:: "DANCE! Dance Danny! Dance for me like my mother used to!" ::end flashback::
Eventually I got my revenge by killing that man. . .twice before he hit the ground. . .in the head. . .
After wandering for years alone in the desolate Deserts of Plenty and Joy. . . (hey, its a LOT scarier than it sounds), I finally found a magic mirror which I stumbled through to send me to your world. I will still miss those ponies and care-bears. . . (Hey! I said it was scary, ok?!?)
Once arrived, I found a nice home and settled down. I lived on a nice gigantic turnip named Bob until one fateful day. On this day, I got really bored. Sooo. . . . .I created the world. Yep, that's right. God. You're lookin' at 'im. Hey, and it only took me 3 days. (Yea, I lied in the bible to look good. The last four days were a swirling puke-fest of beer and pot. Hey, I did good. I can celebrate too.)
Anyway, after all my years of suffering and work, I finally opened a web-page of my own to entertain and pleasure you. (read - "annoy you and refuse to leave")
Well, now that you know all about me, I guess you can see where I'm coming from. I guess there won't be anymore hate mail or spam. (Geez, still pretending I have fans.) Now that you know the truth, feel free to love me --- Danny. Hero, cyborg, God. Danny. Has a nice ring to it, huh? Any questions, incriminating evidence, or offerings? Write Me Well, im off to save the world again. Later.
By Danny
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Brother/Sister/LifePartner Things
 Danny's weekly video game column. Culture, history, gameplay, tech, and dick jokes. Funny, if you're a dorkmo.
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