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Why i was dishonorably discharged from Boy scoutsWhen i was about five i joined the cub scouts. And it was good. I was the head of my troop, and i could kill a man four times before he hit the ground. Twice in the head. (twice times not in the head for those who cannot count but can read.) So there i was one day in my cub scout uniform cutting sticks with sharp rocks and tying knots when all of a sudden Godzilla attacked our troop with his ultra blastiness of rays. But luckily Gamera came out a hole in the sky and blocked it with his diabolical shell. The shell deflected the ray and went back into Godzilla. And with that Godzilla turned into a small pile of charred ashes, that later had water added to it to make him rematerialize. Oh wait that probably didn't happen but the years between five and eight are just a haze... damn child hood. Well eventually i became a boy scout. And it was good. And they gave me my boy scout pocket knife. With it i could fly forty one mile an hour, lift two hundred and three pounds, and open Israeli pepsi cans. (pretty impressive for a ten year old) So one day i was cutting a tree with my pocket knife and all of a sudden i was ambushed by eleven archmage, santa, ninja christs with immortal powers before immortality. Luckily i used my pocket knife to cerimonisly stab them all in the leg and arm or turned them into a newt.Unfortunately the eleven archmage, santa, ninja, christs turned out to be the rest of my troop sent to look after me because i had run off into the woods after eating a funny looking mushroom. The other soul survivor, my troop leader, brought me in to be court marshaled in a court of my peers, who happened to all be in intensive surgery nursing wounds to their arms and legs or being turned to a newt. So the decision on whether or not i should be thrown out of the Boy scouts was left up to the president of the Boy scout organization, no not Neil Armstrong, McGuyver. McGuyver had to make the decision locked in a room with nothing except a twig, a rock, and the moon's gravitational pull. Unfortunately McGuyver, may his resourceful soul rest in piece, died of starvation before he could reach a conclusion. So the decision was given to a group of trained monkeys who could play a good barber quartet. The monkeys decided on a unanimous vote of," EEEHH hu EEEHHH AAHHHH." Which the court decided meant that i was to be dishonorably discharged from the mighty ranks of Boy scout and have all my badges removed besides one. So here i am today proud to be the only person to dishonorably discharged from the Boy Scouts. Well besides PeeWee Herman, but he doesn't count as a person. By Max
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Link Back Links Writer(s) |
 Danny's weekly video game column. Culture, history, gameplay, tech, and dick jokes. Funny, if you're a dorkmo. |
Puuba-Danny