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The life story of Max, Rosco
Our story begins in the small stable of Hell, Australia. There a boyfriend and girlfriend were about to get to third base when all of a sudden they heard the playful whaling of an infant. They went to the nearest corner and found a screaming bouncing baby boy. Being the responsible Australians they were they quickly threw him in the ocean to make sure no one knew their dirty secret, the couple was actually the prime minister and a vacuum. Well just to spite those pansy loser Australians or maybe knowing better things were in store for him the infant swam to America. On the way he was adopted into a herd of wild killer blue whales (this was before the mighty beasts were riven to extinction in 1994). The chief of the herd named the manthing Rosco , which in whale means "the one who shall kill the guy who shot Willie's Mother in Free Willie." The whales took care of him, fed him, and brought him to America, where he promptly beached himself. Green Peace came to his rescue and put him in the Sea World "Freaks of the Sea" exhibit. Under the idea that he was a poke'mon. Lucky for the young Rosco there was a Blues singing Catfish in his tank who took care of him and taught him the ways of life. One day about three years later Danny(the Puuba King), Oli, and Tommy were walking through this exhibit when Danny looked at Rosco's exhibit and said with a shout, "That's not a freak of the sea! That's a Manchild!" Being the responsible Americans they were, they rescued Rosco later that night and set the great Catfish free (where upon he swam to Japan and started a successful career singing in Blues bars). They also found the person at Green Peace who had made such a blunder to send a manchild to an aquarium, and ceremoniously kicked the living crap out of him. The idiot happened to be Swedish too. (Go figure) So after all was done the three adventurers now had a manchild on their hands. Luckily the great Catfish had taught him english. Oli and Tommy adopted Rosco. (This doesn't mean that Oli and Tommy are gay, it just means that they are my father and my, uhh, umm, uhh, my parents.) So anyway one day Oli came home and Rosco had a big pot of stu that he called "Poacher Soup." Rosco also asked that he have a new name. The stu was good. And Oli and Tommy decided to make the manchild's new name Max. Soon after Danny, the Puuba King, gave him a job at his website after putting him through a lot of shit. So there is the story of my life. A short little tale of a boy adopted by killer blue whales, taught by a giant Blues singing Catfish, and then employed by the Puuba King.
By Max
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Brother/Sister/LifePartner Things
 Danny's weekly video game column. Culture, history, gameplay, tech, and dick jokes. Funny, if you're a dorkmo.
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