Yoga Your Eyes Out

     That's right. I had my very first yoga lesson today. I actually thought I might feel enlightened or something. I was really hoping for it. At the very least I'd get some exercise. So, not being one to just wait for enlightenment, I took action. I joined a yoga class.
     We hummed, and breathed, and put our legs over our heads. Er. . . other legs. I kinda sucked. I still have a sprained groin from one of the exercises! (Oh, yea. That instructor liked me. And he was hot.)

     Now, I used to think taking yoga had one very important potential perk. The ability to suck your own penis. Not that I ever would, but its nice to know you could, right? In an emergency.
     I never mentioned it to my teacher, but I imagine her must have known that that was why I was there. I thought that's why every guy was there. I was sick to be in the room with us.
     Maybe there should be a special men’s only yoga class. That's what our motivation would be! Self-Suck yoga! Hey, I’m no advertiser, but I think I may have stumbled upon something that cripples the porn industry. Look how happy dogs are.

     In any case, yoga was actually far harder than I expected. You couldn't tell it from my waterproof pants, but I was sweating my body weight in water every stretch. I could have peed my pants and had three other people pee in my pants and you wouldn't be able to tell the difference. I could have had this whole forest pee my pants!
     Assuming we were in a forest at all. . .
     Sorry, yoga made me so light headed. . .


By Danny