 |
||||
|
Clowns For SaleHello my friends. I come to you in my saddest hour, in the hopes of preforming a great deed. I moved recently, to an apartment building called, “Tour de Champignon” (literally, the Really Tall kinda tall Rectangular Structure that contains Several living Cubes with three bedrooms and two baths and a laundry room on each floor and a good view of a nude beach that makes you wonder if you should risk looking perverted by putting sunscreen down there or risk getting it sunburned, Towers) It is a lovely place, but my landlord, Mr. Guy Persons, does not allow pet clowns in my building. I begged and pleaded and juggled Opera singers for his amusement, but to no avail, my clown must go.So I offer him to you, the viewing public. For Sale: 1 Medium Clown Desription: Height: 6’ 1” Weight: 220 Eyes: 2 Name: Maurice le Bozo Hair: Rainbow Afro pant size: 400 by 32 Shoe: 43 suspenders: green plaid Bow-tie: spinning Cost: $0.00 or best offer Disclaimer: Owner not reponsible for lost or defective clown. If clown suffers damage in transit, it is fault of new owner. Clown not checked for rabies. No refunds. If clown drinks your scotch and grumbles something about dignity, hide your guns. Owner not at fault if clown is, or becomes french. Do not taunt clown. Please use clown for good, instead of evil. Do not tough clown. Do not be surprised if clown eats your other pets/family members. Keep out of reach of children or the elderly. Do not operate clown if you have previously experiacned neck or lower back pain. In fact, get someone who you care nothing for to place out of reach of anyone. Clown is not neutered. Clown is able to able to reproduce, and will try to most vigourously, especially with your leg. Never put clown into a partical accelerator. Never give clown a laser. Do not release clown from shackles and ball and chain. If you feel you want to release clown from chains, swallow cyanide pill found in clown’s top button. Never allow clown to juggle your cat and or baby. Advise clown that failure to entertain is punishable under federal law. Never reproduce or rebroadcast any television baseball without the expressed written consent of Major League Baseball (this has nothing to do with the clown, but is important nonetheless) Instructions for Care: Please feed twice a day a bowl of peanuts (unsalted) and a quart if gin. Allow him plenty of exercise and wash his nose with windex at least once a week. Never cut open clown in hopes of finding cotton candy. By Derek | |||
|
|
Link Back Links Writer(s) |
 Danny's weekly video game column. Culture, history, gameplay, tech, and dick jokes. Funny, if you're a dorkmo. |
Puuba-Danny