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A Change in FaceOne day not to long ago. I sat typing away on my computer sending in another article for puuba.(an email to Danny.) Here's an article for puuba. To bad it's late for the holiday season. Or, is it... ::max jumps into his manchild size time machine to go back in time and turn this article on time. but in fact max has actually jumped into the patented corn dog-a-ma-thingy and has been turned into a CORN DOG.:: Max (in a corn dog voice): Oh no! I've been turned into a corn dog! True i may now be the world's greatest snack food on a stick ever, but now i'm not a manchild anymore! what shall i do! i struggle to come up with a plan that will turn me back into my human form but while i do Lu comes from another room searching for the now deep fried manchild. Lu: Hey max! where are ya bud. Came over to pick you up in my car. But then realized that i don't even have a driver's permit because i'm a big dumb "oafing" retard. So i called Martini and had him come to pick us both up. (Lu looks around and notices that there is no one in the house.) Now i wonder where that manchild could... hey a discarded corn dog. Doesn't look like max is going to eat it....so i'll just take it off his hands. But no corn dog is complete without 100% Pain hot sauce. Now i'm sure that he has some in his kitchen. Lu goes off to the kitchen to find himself some hot sauce. max(in a corn dog voice): Oh no! Lu's gonna eat me if i don't turn back into a manchild soon. But how am i going to manage it. Wait i know i'll go into the uncorndog-thingy-ma-bobber and turn back into a manchild. (i attempt to stand up but stopped because cornogs don't have legs. or a mouth for that matter. so i guess i've been talking to myself the entire time i was a corndog) Crap! Can't stand up. I'm i gonner. Suddenly Martini comes in from the backdoor. Martini: What in the hell is taking you two so long. I've half a mind to give you both Zerb-Town for keeping me waiting. If you don't come out by the count of... hey a corn dog. I love corn dogs. As Martini bend over to take it Lu comes in from the kitchen. Lu: Well i wasn't able to find any pain so i guess i'll have to eat it with...boat. Hey Martini! Drop that corn dog. It's mine! Martini: No it's mine. Lu: Says who? Martini: Me! Lu: You and what army? Martini: This one! A horde of soldiers comes from the backyard and into the living room But then realize that they're just a figment of Martini's imagination and disappear. Martini: Damnit! Lu: HA! Hand over the corn dog. Lu rushes Martini and grabs hold of the corn dog witch Martini is grasping. The struggle ensues and i (max the corn dog) am being pulled in two. Lu: Let Go! Martini: Never! Lu: Your ruining the corndog. Martini: No you are. Lu: Fine. Let's let go on three. (Martini and Lu): 1...2...3!!! The corndog (me) is thrown up in the air and somehow lands in the uncorndog-thingy-ma-bobber. The machine turns on and turns me back into a manchild. There is much rejoicing. (yea.) Lu: Wow that corn dog. was really a manchild. Sorry i tried to eat you max. Me: That's ok Lu. I would have done the same in the same situation. Isn't that right Martini... Martini stands over the corndog-a-ma-thingy tossing in tables, chairs, and most anything he can get his hands on. Martini: Must make biggest corn dog known to man!!!!! Me: The machine's not meant for that much battered beef on a stick! Lu: (Reading a computer screen) She Can't take much more Captain. William Shatner: We...need...to...stop that...mad...man. Me: But how Captain...hey how in the hell did you get in this story? William Shatner: No...time...for...the...jibbajabba...got...to stop...the... mad man. We can...stop...the machine...by putting...something in the...machine...that heats...the converter into...shutdown. Me: But what could do that? Lu: I know. My emergency bottle of 100% Pain hot sauce. Shatner: Quick...throw...it in... lad. Lu: Righto. Lu runs up and throws the bottle in the opening. The machine turn bright red and steam shoots out it's ears (machines can have ears). The corndog-a-ma-thingy shuts down and starts to cool. Martini backs away and acts as though nothing happened. Me: Thank you Mr. Shatner for saving Earth from a giant corndog. Kirk: No need to... thank me. Just doing my... duty. Beam me up... Scotti. (a minute goes by) Me: uh...er....Mr. Shatner. You're still here. Shatner: Umm...right. Must be those damn klingons again. (slips out the back door and yells "up, up and away!") Lu: Wow. I didn't know Captain Kirk was Superman. Me: Me neither. Lu: Feel like a corn dog. Me: No. Not in particular. TThe End By Max | |||
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 Danny's weekly video game column. Culture, history, gameplay, tech, and dick jokes. Funny, if you're a dorkmo. |
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