The Cowo-Babatian War

     I've been thinking about this for a very long time, and I think I've come to a conclusion. Vegetarians are right. We shouldn't eat animals. We should eat babies. Not normal babies at least. Retarded babies. Come on; I'm not cruel.

Poor stupid dinner.

     As a general rule, I'll eat anything that can't ask me not to. And so far, except for one parrot, this rule has worked, but now I got to thinking. We should only eat things inferior to us, right? How can we be sure that cows are really inferior to us? I mean, shouldn't we judge them on a different scale, them without hands and all? They never even had a chance to be human. Their parents were cows. Their grandparents were cows. Its not like they would have inbred and made a goat. The cow got stuck. Retarded babies are just lazy.

     Babies, on the other hand, had a chance. We know they're inferior. Its like fate rolled a die, and from a one to six, this baby came up "retarded". They can't talk. I can. They can't dance. I can. They aren't premature ejaculators. I. . . well. They are inferior. Take my word.

The master race?

     Lets look at this fairly. Sure, cows can't use human tools or build complex societies. They can't even snap. But I can't eat grass, or chew my own putrid cud. Shouldn't we use a different scale here? It might be an awesome cow. I'm a shit of a cow! But, they don't kill and eat me. They're fair.

     We should try a fair experiment. Both of us spend a week in the other's life. Winner eats. If I spent a week as a cow, I'd never live. I'd starve on grass alone. And I've never been good at having four stomachs. I've tried. But, give the cow a nice house, a fair job. Maybe a computer technician. Maybe he'd live?

     Yea, well he still couldn't snap and babies are chewy.

Specially the retards.


By Danny

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"Maybe Vegetarianism, Then?"

"Or Meat."