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Alas, Poor NapsterI realized something today. . .I'm really gunna miss Napster once its gone. Napster has been really good to me. It may not have been quite like a father to me, but at least like a half brother and definetely a distant aunt. Without Napster, where would I be? Let me think hard now. . . Well, I would probably be banned from one less service and on one less police rap sheet. Copyright infringement. . . What do cops know?? But still, how can you hate a service that delivers fresh polka daily? Simple. You can't. Like hanging a steak in front of a Somalian in a mine field. . . its just mean. But, I guess I really can see why Napster is being attacked. I mean, if CDs don't sell, who'll feed Metallica's children caviar each day?? The butler will be gone. And no one would be there to wash Lars Uldrich's custom rocket sled. Well, no one except a couple starving children. And who wants to put them to work when Jeeves could be just as busy?? Not I, for one. Besides, as RIAA president himself once said, "Direct file sharing is, in essence evil and a sin" *Quote may be fake. And the man is correct. Has anyone actually considered what fields Napster could branch off into? Direct Online Lunch Sharing. Direct Online Handball Practice. Direct Online Soul Trading. Sure, the first two may seem harmless, but what are gunna do when the day finally comes and Satan himself offers you, "Hey, man. I can getcha Metallica's Four Leaf Clover. All ya gotta do is spit up your immortal soul." Sure, you could say yes. But, God wouldn't like that much. . . Me and God are tight. And I know for a fact. . . God hates Metallica. So next time you are down in your parent's basement, grooving to your only disco eight-tracks left from before the internet, just remember what has been taken from us. About thirty years of progress and two of my favorite shirts. I mean, come on. There's no way my old shirts would fit me thirty years ago. I've gained too much weight. By Danny
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Link Back Links Writer(s) |
 Danny's weekly video game column. Culture, history, gameplay, tech, and dick jokes. Funny, if you're a dorkmo. |
Puuba-Danny