| Roll Up Type | Rejection |
| Fruit Roll Up Syringes | Worked fine until the user stopped; Then, until their next "roll", they had spasms and bled from the anus. |
| Fruit Roll Up Hand Grenades | Blew up right, just never had that same. . .destructive effect. |
| Fruit Roll Up Balls | Not that kind!! They just don't bounce. . . |
| Fruit Roll Up Genital Herpes | Pop out little buttons! Just press them on and they stick! Dunno why this didn't work. |
| Fruit Roll Up Illegal Aliens | Just release them over the cut out border, cock the shotgun, and play! |
| Fruit Roll Up Space Aliens | Anal probes, gutted cows, and crop circles. . . all burned onto one roll! |
| Fruit Roll Up Adult Diapers | Half the calories! Less filling! As for the taste. . . damn. Old people suck. . . |
| Fruit Roll Up Toupes | Stuck on on its own. . . until you were attacked by crows. |
| Fruit Roll Up Flavored Condoms | Total failure. Four out of five test patients got someone pregnant. The last one got his dick bit off. |
| Fruit Roll Up Swift Kick to the Nuts | We couldn't figure out HOW to work this one. . . Instead, we just beat up the professor. |
| Fruit Roll Up Flavored Condoms | Just because it was accidentally on here twice. |
| Fruit Roll Up Shock Troopers | Tried to rule the world. . . ended up eaten by a four-year-old. |
| Fruit Roll Up Jesus | Everyone else mocks him. . . Why can't I? |
| Fruit Roll Up Flavored Condoms | What? Again? No, you CAN'T have more. . . |
| Fruit Roll Up Fruit Roll Up | It seemed genious! . . .until we thought about it. . . |
| Fruit Roll Up Blow-Up Doll | Great taste! Less filling! Too sticky. |
Danny's weekly video game column. Culture, history, gameplay, tech, and dick jokes. Funny, if you're a dorkmo.