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Drugs, Alcohol, Smoking, Comunism, and YouEveryone, I'd like to welcome you and thank you for coming here today. I hope the commandos at the door weren't too rough with their cavity search. But, it was neccesary. Drugs scare me; they make me cry. They make me want to kill. . .But, anyway. You all know why you're here. You were caught with drugs. Lethal, dangerous, evil, blood-lusting drugs. You are a threat to both society and yourself, and I hate you. Either that, or its school taught and you have no choice. Oh, yea; or the free donuts, but we just say that. . . ::Three men get up and leave:: Now, we can begin. You all know drugs. They break up your families; they kill your friends; they jail your parents; they clog your plumbing; and they rape your dogs. Drugs are the bane of our society. And, you know how I feel about banes of societies. . . Bad. Ah, yes: crack, dope, weed, LSD, PCP, HBO, CNN, and the worst one of them all: PMS. Let me tell you about one girl. A story that touched my heart. She approached me after one of my speeches. This girl was no more than ten years old. She comes up; she tells me her mom smoked crack. This girl was beat up, broken down, whored out, kicked in, and finally killed. It just a good thing that she broke that addiction in time. . . To dying, I mean. So, allow me to break it down for you. If you smoke, you die. If you shoot up, you die. If you puff, lick, sniff, snarf, or splurt, you die. In fact, even if you don't do drugs, you die. I'll kill you myself. Furthermore, you, you and you: Come down here. Get on the altar. You die too. ::pulls out a huge jeweled ax:: And let us all bow our heads to the god Craxius of anti-drug. Damn it, potheads!! Do it!! By Danny
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Link Back Links Writer(s) |
 Danny's weekly video game column. Culture, history, gameplay, tech, and dick jokes. Funny, if you're a dorkmo. |
Puuba-Danny