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THE INTRO
For years, people have wondered about one subject. Ever since the epic Simpsons episode, the topic has been on the tips of the world's collective tongue. And just like a hair, no one has been able to take it off without their hands.
Which one is superior? The Hamster or the Man?
Only, in this case, it's a guinnea pig. And a Manchild. And we don't know science.
In this reporter's opinion, there is only one way to find out. Torture the hell out of two unsuspecting guinnea pigs. And, hey! One of them actually is!! Just like when Aeris tried to use holy, but instead of saving the world, it ended up destrying everything and killing all the world. .. at least we mean well!
For the next week (give or take), Alena and I will be tailing Max Hodge and experimenting on him. The second victim will be a family member -- Alena's hampster. Max is aware only that we will be fucking with him and nothing else. Sorsha is aware only that she needs more food.
We'll try to pay attention and we'll try to make some updates. We'll try to make this short. We'll try to make this scientific. And by that last one, I mean Alena will. . . and I'll be a prick.
I represent the manchild. Alena's got the fuzzy.
Here are our contestants. . .
Max "The Manchild" Hodge
Age: 15
Location: California
MyOpinion: Studly
Manchild comes to us as a puuba-long puuba member and life-long oaf. I love him like a brother and call his brother 'motard'. I put my money on Max, if only because his father's name is Catfish.
Manchild represents the side of man, and, if given a broken statue of liberty, he would hate those dirty apes. . .
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Sorsha "The NickName" Waite
Age: 1
Location: A Poo Pile
MySenses: Offended
Sorscha is Alena's guinea pig. Soft, squeaky, and white as your ass, Sorscha is known to have albino-laser eyes and be blank as can be. She often serves the useful purpose of being a cotton paperweight that eats a ton of food. . . But we love her nonetheless. Oh yeah! There was this one time when she. . .
Nevermind. That was my sister.
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