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Want to Make More Money?Hi, I'm Danny Garfield and I want to welcome all of you here today!! I want to. . . but I won't. . . It looks like we have a packed house today! Great! Both seats are full, so its a good thing I invited my mom this week. Ok. Who here likes making money? I can't hear you!! No, really. You're on a computer. I can't hear you. Hope you didn't wake your parents. And who wants to make more money? Want to know how to quit your cruddy old job today? And still live in perfect comfort? And who here has seen me naked? Ok. just checking. Well then, my friends, read on!!Just six months ago, I was living in a cruddy one bedroom apartment under the East bridge. Only rats for company and fire in a barrel (now pattented) for warmth. Now, I live in a spacious five bedroom, three bath estate house, full with indoor plumbing! And all I had to do is drug the original owner!! But, I shouldn't be telling you that. . . And that's not what YOU should do! Wanna know what you can do? Read on!! There I was, under my bridge, when a man approached me. "How would you like to make one hundred dollars, right here and now?" he said. Well, of course I would! Wouldn't you? Ten minutes later and one toothbrush down and I was in the money! Here is where my plan comes into action! No, not doing whatever other people tell you! Prostitution!! I know what you're thinking. "What if I'm fat, or I have three nipples, or I have terrible ass acne?" Worry not! I pay fat hermaphrodites just like you every day! Now think about it. All the capital and supplies are built right in! Why get an office and suit when an alley and underwear work just as well? Here's a letter written by someone who used my system. Dear Danny, Thank you for all your help. Now, not only can I not sit down, but I have a net worth of $320!! Thanks! Anonymous Well, anonymous, you know what I always say. Why sit down when you can lay down instead? AND BE PAID FOR IT! If you order my book, you can see all the step-by-step process which it takes to become a truely great whore. For example: Did you know that crabs can be killed with ordinary household Raid? What about that old garbage bags work just as good as a "real" contraceptive? Learn these tricks and more in my new 6 chapter book! Chapter 1 -- "How to get Hooked on Drugs" Chapter 2 -- "How to Unzip Without Getting Stuck" Chapter 3 -- "How to Make Sure They Call you in the Morning" Chapter 4 -- "How to Get Back Off Drugs" Chapter 5 -- "How to Write a Book About It" and Chapter 6 -- "How to Make Up Everything You Can't Remember" See? Its that easy!! Idiots will buy anything you put in front of them! Err, not you idiots. OTHER idiots. Err, heh, damn. Anyway. . . Buy my book today! Cuz tommorow. . . you'll be ugly. Thank you and goodnight! By Danny
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Link Back Links Writer(s) |
 Danny's weekly video game column. Culture, history, gameplay, tech, and dick jokes. Funny, if you're a dorkmo. |
Puuba-Danny