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Puuba's Guide to DatingHow to Prepare:Pick somewhere trendy, but not too trendy. Be sure not to leave or get lost. Pick somewhere where there's not likely to be many handsome men. there. If you're attracted to Bag Ladies, garbage dumps work nicely. Otherwise, maybe a comic shop. Or my house. --Caution If your location seems to fall from below you and retract out from under you, you've picked somewhere too trendy and a bouncer is removing you. If your location has suddenly turned sideways and quickly punched your head, you've fallen. And you may be a walking dog.
Wear something cool, but not not too cool. If your outfit is downright cold, the women will be scared away. Eskimo women don't apply. Also, remember, women are attracted to shinys, not colors. I think they might be color blind too. . . if that's not dogs.
This rule only applies if you picked ChocAnon as your target. Or if you're a pedophile. Or hungry.
Not only does this attract the attention of the woman to your crotch, this also suggests the possibility or something being in your pocket. Women love surprises. In addition, the subtle imagery evoked here is crucial. Your hand is in your pocket. Maybe theirs should be too? Is it sharing time already?
A looking man is a confident man. The eye contact also lets the woman know that you are looking at her, and not you. However, if you are looking at you, read no further. You need Puuba's guide to wankin' it. Also, if you're looking at her, you're not not looking at something else. And that means the world. To someone. Eye contact establishes dominance in the pack. This stern glare will not only make your woman desperately want you, but also hunt for your deer. Also, try peeing on her rug.
This is an international sign of happiness and enjoyment. In addition, an open mouth is far more likely to recieve a penis than a closed one. Perhaps you should try entry right now.
This is a good sign. You've neither gotten too drunk or too hit. This may also be an equally bad sign. You aren't getting laid.
You have made a mistake and not followed tip #1. Go back to your set location or you'll never get a date. Stupid nomad!
Are you then going out and doing what the guide says? Reading itself never got noone nuthang. Or maybe you're a gimp.
Look down. Do you see a bulge? If so, you're a man. If not, your date is not. If you can't see your crotch, you're fat. Get a life.
I find it hard to believe that someone using this guide, having sex so much, would have the time to get beaten up by a date. Next time, try less lying to the guide. Fool.
Your welcome.
If your date is calling you names, yes. If your date is not breathing, she's dead. If your date is filled with feathers, it is a pillow. Go back to sleep. And happy dreams.
By Danny
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Link Back Links Writer(s) |
 Danny's weekly video game column. Culture, history, gameplay, tech, and dick jokes. Funny, if you're a dorkmo. |
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