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Puuba, Chil'ren!
(AKA - The Meaning of Life)
Ok, so you've come to the Puuba Palace. . . What is "puuba" you may ask. Where did "puuba" come from? Can I obtain some "puuba" for myself?
Here's the good news. Now, you can discover all the glory of puuba for yourself. As you read on, remember - puuba is not just a word, but a way of life.
___Let's start from the top. Puuba actually originated from the bible. In the book of Genesis, 15:4, it is written, "and the Lord's name was spoken, and Puuba was formed". Some say that Puuba is actually God's name; more still say that puuba is a word for the collective mental state of humanity; most others say that I do not translate Hebrew very well. Even still, puuba is most obviously the holiest of holy words.
___Puuba was first uttered by a mortal man in 1612 BC by the native Aboriginy people of Yugoslavia. It was rumored to have been first spoken when Ugtar hit Blemesh with a big rock, which they called a "beat stick". This is significant in its entire significance, entirely. Upon "bitch-smacking" Blemesh, Ugtar yelled, "PUUUUBA!!!" Despite causing the local racoon and rabbit population to flee in terror, Ugtar DID prove an important point - puuba CAN be yelled. . . AND loud.
___The first recorded and proven instance of puuba occured in 1203 AD, in England. A man was pouring tea for his wife when, suddenly, frighteningly, and entirely unexpectedly. . . he sneezed. Despite repeated claims that the sneeze sounded like "Achoo" by his wife, the man was arrested by the local authorities and proceeded speediously to an execution by gerbil smoking. (A traditional English punishment). The official criminal sentence was >>Puuba Screaming<< Over time, this shouting puuba had been outlawed throughout Europe, despite the lack of raccoons and squirels. Puuba had now evolved into something large indeed. . . and dangerous. After much debate, it was decided. The word was written on a cocktail napkin and was buried in the far away deserts of Morroco.
___Later, when people grew up and realized that puuba IS "just a word", these laws were repealed and puuba did for a short time gain a measure of fame, appearing on such shows as the Tonight Show, Carebears, and Nude on the Beach. Finally, puuba settled down and learned to live a more reasonable life, living in the shadows and coming out only at night to eat the flesh of the dead. . . . Until now. Puuba was finally rediscovered by an American expedition digging in southern California in the year 2504. (Apparently, that growing up thing didnt happen until FAR in the future.) It was discovered by Thomas Jones, an alien secretary with a talking pie. (Side note - after discovering puuba, the two split up over rights to the word. Thomas went on to become a beer-chugging redneck, while the pie went on to become a great lounge singer.) Of course, after being found, puuba was sent back to our time via automated time baloober and is now with us today, in all its fame and glory.
Despite its enthralling history, many still debate the meaning of the word "puuba". It's meanings are four-fold, and of utmost importance. Those meanings are. . .
Hello.
Goodbye.
Im hungry.
You smell like trout.
Of course, puuba also is also the meaning of life. . . What is the meaning of life you ask? Im glad you asked, for only a chosen few may know this well-guarded secret. Puuba, AND the meaning of life itself is. . . . .
::Danny is shot dead by an unseen assailant::
::another person's voice::
Do YOU know the meaning of Puuba? Write your answer to Danny via e-mail. (Yes, e-mails CAN be recieved in heaven... [But, no. Not to your dead Grandma.]) Send Danny YOUR meaning of Puuba and have it posted here! If you are correct maybe YOU TOO can be shot by an unknown assailant! sent candy in the mail. Yes, candy will do nicely.
By Danny
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 Danny's weekly video game column. Culture, history, gameplay, tech, and dick jokes. Funny, if you're a dorkmo.
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